January 2012
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One of my roommates keeps trying to set me up with various friends of hers. I appreciate her effort but I’m not really interested. Every time we go out, it’s a trap. If I wanted to get ambushed every time we go anywhere, I’d just be myself. BOOM.
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Delorice
It was early in the century and your-mama-jokes were at their peak as the lowest fruit in the comedy peak. Not really my style but the guys in the class has an affinity for mom jokes. Although not the highest brow of comedy, one of the first things you need to do to succeed in comedy is know your audience. I guess I was a class clown. I was friends with everybody, very nice, no enemies that I can...
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I fucked the kitchen so hard that we are giving away a litter of baby kitchens.
No Gmail, I do not want to import my email address from when I was in my teens. I no longer care that someone commented on my Xanga.
You have watched 0 minutes of megavideo today.
Please wait forever to watch more videos.
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“I, like a lot of men in this town, enjoy making love to my wife.”
– Phil Dunphy - Modern Family
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Watchdannorton:
sometimes I play drums…perhaps a little fast.
Look at this guy!
I think Steve still owes us a drum set.
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My roommate is getting her masters in some sort of library science. Her birthday is next week. I’m considering hollowing out a book for her and putting a flask in it so she can keep it on her bookshelf or whatever. What would be a funny book for this?
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If SOPA passes, I’m going to be really pissed when I the world ends in 2012 and I can’t blog about it.
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Yuengling Is Now America's Largest Brewer →
culby:
fuckyeahbeer:
Yuengling takes the number one spot.
DAMN RIGHT
And we still don’t have it in Boston!
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formerlycrackedpolystyrene replied to your post: SOPA party at my house tonight, come dressed in a censored costume.
you’re an idiot.
This reply sums up my blog nicely.
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SOPA party at my house tonight, come dressed in a...
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culby asked: Seriously, though, want to start a tumblr where we photoshop Allison Brie's boobs onto Karen Gillan's body?
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To protest SOPA I'm going to drink until I...
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“Gentlemen, we could withstand the blackout of Wikipedia, but now that the tumblr...”
– Nobody. (via culby)
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puttinonthefoil replied to your post: If someone ever tells you that you’re “too nice”…
it’ll totally debunk the whole “too nice” thing because you stabbed someone cold
You’re catching on to the joke.
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If someone ever tells you that you’re “too nice” an appropriate and acceptable response is to stab that person.
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“Well, go ahead. Make fun of the super handsome guy who believed too much.”
– Kenneth Parcell
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If someone was smart enough to Nancy Drew that photo and figure out where I live, and then bring me a burger, I would eat it.
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must-love-blogs asked: I'm going to Fatal Attraction on your Craigslist Killer until we both Single White Female.
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“Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “The world is a fine place and worth fighting...”
– Last lines of “Se7en”.
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“I got to my hotel room,” she says, “and clicked on Twitter and was like, ‘What...”
– 90s Band Letters To Cleo Goes From Defunct To Trending On Twitter Via A T-Shirt (And A Hit TV Show)
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I literally just walked in my house, put my stuff down and sat down in the living room. I never lock the door if I’m awake and home. A very beautiful girl just walks right into my house and put her stuff down. She turns, sees me sitting on the couch, and asks “I’m wrong house, aren’t I?”, I said “That depends what you’re looking for”. We talked for a...
I nailed that interview so hard that they wanted me to go on their live show tonight. I could do it though, I felt way too unprepared.
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Who needs the weather channel when I can just log into facebook and read everyone bitch about the weather every day.
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Keepin it eclectic.
I got contacted to write about Boston sports. For very little money, but it’s a start.
I have a meeting tommorrow about writing and acting on a sketch comedy tv show.
I have a interview on Friday about coaching kids sports.
If I get 5 part time jobs and do one a day, will that be more fun than having 1 full time job?
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They say "If you're good at something, never do it...
Yet, when I charge people to bone, they throw me in jail.
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I don't know why I remembered this today but I'm...
After high school I moved out of the state. One day I was traveling through my old state and I passed through a town that one of my ex’s lived in. She was working at a stand at this huge multi-state talent show type thing. It’s really huge and sells out instantly, so I didn’t actually have a ticket. But I stopped in to see her because I would only be in town for the one day....
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I know it’s time to unfriend people when someone’s birthday notification pops up and I say “Who the is this?”. Don’t worry, I’ll wait until the day after your birthday, which means I’ll forget by tomorrow.
Watch
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No one has heard me unfiltered until they've seen...
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When I apply for jobs, I have high standards. Sometimes I need to keep myself in check though by reminding myself that my landlord has high standards for tenants too - Ones who pay the rent.
Give me caffeine or give me death!
This is a toast
to all the jobs posted that are listed in Boston, that when they contact me are actually an hour outside of the city.
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Not even 10 am and someone just delivered booze here. I didn’t even think that was legal in this state. I didn’t order it, but I’m the only one home, so thanks roommate. He didn’t ID me, he just said, “you 21?”. Also I wasn’t wearing pants.
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